I used to be a huge preparation man. I like my sh*t to be in perfect order before I begin any task in front of me, and I like to know what my schedule looks like for the foreseeable future. I set goals, make lists and devise plans to achieve, but I always used to strike out when it came to the doing part.
It’s a tough world out there, but it’s so damn easy to look the other way and switch the TV on, rather than remain conscious and focused late at night to get the work done. I know, I’ve been there. In fact, I still dip in and out of this ugly personality trait, I still find myself making excuses like,
“Just one more episode”
“I’ll only watch trash TV when I’m eating dinner”.
Yet still, there I am at 9pm on the sofa, relaxing into repeat episodes of The Big Bang Theory and doing everything I can to take my mind of that mental list of work I’ve created for myself, but it’s not my fault, is it? I work hard enough, right?
Wrong. It used to be the case that most evenings I’d end up in bed asleep and aggravated at my lack of enthusiasm, and I’d tell myself every night that tomorrow was a new day, new goals, no more Big Bang. It’s time to get it done. But there I was after a day’s work, no writing done at all, and I’d lie in bed wide awake thinking about my failures. It was a negative cycle, thats for sure.
Two months ago though, this attitude changed dramatically. I’m not sure what clicked, but something in me said enough was enough, and if I were to truly become the person I want to be in life, I’d better get a move on.
Within an instant I’d stopped setting myself goals to accomplish, it was as if I’d set myself free from the pressures of trying to be something in the future, because the only thing that matters is who I am in the present and how I approached work in order to get me to that place. The process of work and writing became far more enjoyable, and I started hammering my way through that chunk of work I’d set myself without a complaint in sight.
It was glorious. I was developing the habits and building the momentum. It was becoming a daily thing. I didn’t even care about the end result, that was and is out of my control, I just cared about what it was I was creating then and there, here and now. And here I am, having launched a publication, upped my networking on twitter and hustling harder than ever before. I’ve landed two new clients in the past month, and the ideas are booming!